Unwritten Rules

A reader asked...

Would you say that there are unwritten rules of the work place? If so, what are they?

I definitely think there are some unwritten and unspoken rules in the workplace. Just like life. For me, I file these rules under the category of “tact.” Before I do anything at work, I tend to measure it on the tact scale. So I tend to not say a lot of personal stuff at work. I try not to even tell people when I’m not feeling well. There are just certain types of conversations you shouldn’t have with your coworkers because they aren’t your friends. Therefore, it’s cool to tell them that you went out with a couple of friends when they inquire about your weekend, but you probably shouldn’t mention that you went bar hopping and drank one too many gin and tonics and consequently hated yourself and all things liquid the next day. That’s just not tactful. I also wouldn’t recommend you bringing your baggage into work. Save the tears, angry attitudes, and drama for your casa. It’s not a good look. Why? Because, it must be stressed, these people are not your friends. And judgment from coworkers can be harder to shake than the judgment of the man you rolled your eyes at on the bus.

I think the biggest unwritten rule at work is remember that these are not your friends and they do not have your best interest at heart. Your coworkers do not owe you anything. I have seen coworkers cut each other in their own attempts to get ahead. Watch your back and remember someone is always watching you. Let people enough into your life to seem human, but they don't need to know every detail of your life. All information is free to be used against you. Watch your own back and do your work. If their is a promotion or raise available even the girl who you share lattes with and kiki it up with at mandatory functions will stab you in the back to save their own behind. Also, if you know you did not bring that item in the fridge don't eat it!

There are definitely some unspoken rules in the workplace. I think each specific 'office' setting has their own. So my first offering, is to come in on high alert. When you first establish a presence in an office setting, always keep your eyes and ears open for some of the 'office code'. Even though you may be 'new' or unfamiliar  you are ultimately expected to learn and live by that specific settings 'code'. (Unless it is something illegal or immoral ;-)
One thing I can honestly say has been a universal office rule is to check your personal at the door. As harsh as it may sound, remember you are there on the clock, as well as everyone else in the building. Business can not wait on you to get over what Bob in accounting said, Lisa in Marketing did, or that Tim in management called you out. Take constructive criticism as just that, not as a personal attack. Remember, you are there to do a job, and not to necessarily establish friendships or personal relationships. The reality is, this stuff will happen organically, because you spend so much time on the job, but be wise enough to separate business and personal.Business carries on with or without you. However, if you bring your personal to the workplace, you may risk compromising your workplace integrity. Which in the long run could damage your professional growth. Always check the personal before you say your first 'Good Morning'. 

I think that there are many unwritten rules of the work place. The more you know the faster you will be able to move up the ladder. In my opinion one of the most important would be to remember that you are at work. You are not a school, a club, or social gathering. Acknowledge everyone, even if its just the mail guy. Let everyone know who you are because you are friendly, not because you are the subject of gossip. Always be courteous to everyone because you never who they are or how they will impact your future. Forming a link with everyone will allow for you to find out about possible opportunities. With that being said its one thing to be courteous its another thing to form a friendship or more. You're at work, everyone has their own motives so don't get too comfortable too fast. Don't assume when you are having a bad day or if you feel like venting, it is okay to discuss that with your coworkers, especially in the office. They are your coworkers first and foremost. They aren't like your outside friends who can be your therapists when needed. Even if they don't have an ulterior motive you never know who is listening. 


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