Rut 101

Lately I’ve been in rut. Nothing has been wholly bad, but it hasn’t been all that fantastic either. My life has just been a little lackluster. It’s like I’m missing something. I’d like to think that I’m not the only person that goes through this, that I’m not the only person that has these moments where I feel like I’m on an island with population one—me; in just this one case, I hope that I’m not unique. So what have I been doing to assuage this solitude? Well, a variety of things. Some are healthy ways to deal and others not so much. But I’m human, and life is all about balance. So here’s how I’ve been coping. SN: To save myself from appearing to be a slightly neurotic and unhealthy emotional person, I’ve indicated “unhealthy” and “healthy” next to each.

• Closed myself off from the outside world. This includes being short during conversations, avoiding gatherings, staying as far away from Social Media as I possibly can, and wearing a permanent scowl on a sunglasses-adorned face. Unhealthy.
• Listening to music artists that make me smile and believe momentarily that I am in a studio session with Pharell, Babyface, or Vincent Herbert. Healthy.
• Working out until I am literally dripping sweat and I feel like the only thing that is keeping my legs moving is gravity or some other higher force. Healthy.
• Making plans. And then cancelling said plans because I just want to be in the house. First part, healthy. Second part, falls under the whole closed off thing…unhealthy.
• Reading magazines, watching Fashion Police, marathons of Sex and the City and NBA playoff series games. Totally healthy.
• Shopping. Healthy.
• Spending too much money from said “healthy shopping.” Unhealthy.
• Playing in my makeup. Healthy.
• Reaching out to friends to talk. Healthy.
• Getting testy when friends aren’t available to talk and then ending up being rude to them. Unhealthy.
• Crying. My mom would call this healthy, I don’t.
• Wine.
• Wine.
• Wine.
• Wine.
• HEALTHY.
• Going to bed early. Healthy.
• Going to bed early because I want the day to be over with and then sleeping all day. Unhealthy. 

And there we have it. My list of things that I’ve been doing to get myself out of my rut. I’ll be the first to admit that this list needs a little help. But like I said, I’m human. Making this list has actually helped me to figure out the best ways for me to personally cope when I’m in a rut. And, ironically enough, it’s actually taken me out of it a little bit. So if you’ve got time, sit down and make a quick list of all the things you do when you’re feeling down for no reason (or for a reason you don’t/can’t admit or figure out). Be honest about all the things you do—the healthy things and the unhealthy things. And the next time you’re in a rut, refer to the list. Remind yourself of all the things that you normally do when you’re feeling down. I bet you’ll laugh at it, think you’re pathetic, do one or more of the things on the list, find something to do that isn’t on the list, or do some combination of all of those things.

The worst thing about being in a rut is that feeling you get of complete lack of self control. It’s like the rut controls everything you do and feel. With your already-compiled list, it’s like being one step ahead of the rut. You already know how it operates so even if you’re feeling down, you get to control what you do, how you’re going to feel during whatever you do and the consequence that it’s going to have. Not that damn rut. I think I may have stumbled on to something. Hmmm.

Let me know if this is as genius as I think it is.