How does this thing work?

I grew up listening to how many of the elders in my family met. Listening to their stories gave me this hope that when I was old enough to date things would go just as beautiful and simple. When I got to high school I looked around at the world and realized things weren’t the way they described. Sure technology was different but why did relationships have to change along with it? I am out of college and still cant figure out how this relationship thing works nowadays.

Courting was once a requirement. Today courting is “talking”, which is seen as less serious. Back in the day courting was serious….

“Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. During courtship, a couple gets to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement. Gifts are exchanged. A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or may be a public affair, or a formal arrangement with family approval. Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it has been perceived that it is the role of a male to actively "court" or "woo" a female, thus encouraging her to understand him and her receptiveness to a proposal of marriage. Within many western societies, these distinct gender roles have lost some of their importance and rigidity. It is now common for females in younger generations both to initiate relationships and to propose marriage.” (Wiki Source)

What happened to courting? “Talking” is the new thing, which even sounds basic. “Courting,” sounds royal and intimate while “Talking,” sounds ordinary and public. I talk to people daily, why would I want the blooming of a relationship to be titled with an overused term? Also in some cases people “talk” to several people at one time until it becomes understood that you are in a relationship with one person.

I feel that “respect” has been taken out of today’s relationships. In most cases guys aren’t trying to find one girl at a time to see if they are “the one,” instead its almost like an Old Country Buffet line, trying to fit as much as you can on one plate. Slow down! Respect whats on your plate. If you don’t like something you can always get back up and get something else. When I am approached by a guy who appears to have the intentions of forming a relationship with me I focus on that person but what I am realizing is that they don't feel the same way. Talking has become this drawn out process of staying still for a long time until it is decided that this isn't working or a title is placed. Then there are situations that are the complete opposite where after a week of knowing a person, all of a sudden you are boyfriend and girlfriend and a month later you love watch other and they a year later you all are married. Why most it go from one extreme to another? I will admit that there are times when I get antsy about finding a husband so I can get married and have children but that is only because I look around at people I went to school with that are getting engaged, are already married, or have children (wed or unwed). But in reality I just want to be in a happy medium so I have the opportunity to get to know a person and have a mutual respect.

The fact the sex has become so mainstream may be a reason for courting's disappearance. Children are having sex which leads to the nonchalantness of the situation when they get older. The fact that I am not sexually active may be the reason why I look at relationships differently. I've been asked for sex like it were a book on the shelf behind me. Sex is no longer a gift for your husband on your first night of marriage. It doesn't even require a relationship. I dont understand todays way of thinking. I don't want to change my way of thinking, I just wonder if there are any men of my generation that were raised with the same respect for a relationship.