Most of the time when someone hurts you, you have to forgive someone for yourself not for them. If you hold onto that anger it starts to consume and keep you from developing. I’m all about growth, I’m not the same person I was last year and won’t be who I am now come next year. Holding on to the past and things that people have done to you can prevent you from truly developing and reaching your highest potential to become the best you. This especially true when it comes to relationships don’t hold on to what someone else did to you and in turn making the next person pay for it. I was talking to my friend last night and she is just coming out of a really bad marriage. She was saying she doesn't think she ever wants to get married again or have another girlfriend ever in life. (Rain by SWV…. get into it I miss groups like them, Total, 702, Xscape, TLC. Every album gave you life) I had to tell her not every girl is the same and you have to hold everyone accountable for their own actions. Just because one person treated you badly it doesn’t mean that’s what you deserve and that’s all you will find. Use it as a lesson on what you don’t want.
It takes time, but forgiveness is so necessary. You will gain an overwhelming sense of peace when you let go of negative emotions. No one is going to get everything right. Even when it comes to friends and parents you may like to think that your parents are adults and should know better, but they are human and flawed just like everyone else. Even past 40 they may still have a lot of growth and development. My mom tells me all the time that even at her age there is still so much she needs to work on. It hurts when they do things that make you feel like they don’t care about you, but maybe it’s something that they are battling that they have to overcome to have a positive relationship with you. It hurts to let people go especially the ones that you believe there should be a certain type of relationship with such as family, but if a person hinders more than they help you just say “I love you and I release you”
Sometimes you can repair the damage from a relationship and work things out with that person. Both parties have to be ready and forgiveness is the first step. When you hold on to anger and the past it’s like a boat staying chained to the dock. It’s floating and complacent and will never know the depths of the sea.
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